Many years ago we attended the funeral of a young man who
had committed suicide in his father’s home. ‘Tragic’ is the only word I can
think of to describe the situation where such a young person reaches a point of
hopelessness and takes the steps to end their life. The church that had the funeral for this young
man was filled with high school classmates, friends, and family who were there
to say goodbye to this young man. The youth
pastor that conducted the service tried to make the situation as positive as
possible when describing the life of this young man. The elephant in the room
that was not addressed was this young man taking his own life and its devastating
impact on those he knew and loved. By not addressing the issue of suicide this
youth pastor performed a tragic disservice to family and friends
I’ve conducted many funerals over the years. The most
enjoyable one (if that is appropriate to say) was that of my aunt who loved
Jesus for many decades. Her prayers kept my dad alive in Vietnam. If he is in
Heaven, her faithful and fervent prayers, along with the grace of God get the
credit. Her life and funeral reflected
the grace and goodness of God amidst difficult circumstances.
Most of the funerals I that have done were in a sense more
standard where the desire was to speak God’s truth in words of comfort to
family and friends. The most difficult
funeral I conducted was for a bad guy. My desire was to acknowledge the value
of his life to his estranged wife and teenage sons. And at the same time I did not
want to gloss over how poorly he led his life and hurt those around him. The family seemed satisfied with what I said.
More recently some celebrities have died under less than
normal circumstances. Deaths related to drug abuse are common. It is even more
of a tragedy when those who knew and loved them do not speak to the drug abuse
that led to their early deaths. The same
is true when issues of mental illness and suicide are not addressed by those
who knew and loved them.
Funerals are time when people in the normal busyness of life
take time to think of death and eternity.
1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 (ESV) 13 But we do not want you to be
uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as
others do who have no hope. 14 For since
we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will
bring with him those who have fallen asleep.
Christians are not to
grieve as those who have no hope. We are to grieve in light of God’s goodness
and grace. We are to have confidence know that for the believer to be absent
from the body is to be present with the Lord. [2 Corinthians 5:8]
In our present reality may we look to God’s eternal purposes
(John 3:16).
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